I have recently been exposed to the European part of the word and saw a hilarious and passionate rivalry between two countries, France and Italy. Each country thinks they are better than their rival and they will certainly tell you if they have the chance to be involved in such a critical battle between image and expression. Who has better pizza? olive oil? baguettes? salami? fresh mozzarella? people? women? scenery? pasta? architecture? fashion?
Attitude?
One appears in France as how he is. As another expresses in Italy as how he is.
A battle for the ages and an neglected argument held in a civilized manner.
See Palestine, you can do it too.
Falling aWAKE and Staying aSLEEP
I wish this title was completely acceptable for whenever you use these two phrases.
One seems a little more reasonable than the other, but staying asleep in the morning might be everyone's favorite thing even if they don't realize it. That last hour of sleep you get in the morning before you wake up is so flippin' comfy - can't really get over how good a bed feels at that point.
You could be sleeping on a steel grid and slice of Wonderbread and still feel this way, but unfortunately, there is that one small peep in the prime of REM sleep waking you while you are holding on to your dream you just lost making you start thinking and then you wake up...unbelievable.
So, then what, you get yourself together, get ready for work/school, arrive, and start your day. At one point or another, you almost doze off and face plant on a simple walk to the bathroom, over a conference call, or just blankly staring at your computer screen. Don't lie.
Caffeine just makes me feel weird in general and I am not really trying to get addicted to adderall. What's a normal human to do?
Real life situations that could maybe resolve this:
You're helping a customer/co-worker - So, I have a problem with this account and it looks like you are managing it, right?"
- "Hey, this is pretty easy to resolve, but let me go ahead and take a quick power nap and I'll get it done much faster, more efficiently, and feel much better when I wake up. Go ahead and get some coffee - I'll be right here, wake me up at, ummmm, 11:43. Perfect, see you soon."
You're in class - "After you finish reading this passage, go ahead and write a 2 page response as to why you thought the antagonist was such a vital role in the success of the protagonist at the climax of the story."
- "Yeah, that sounds great, I'll wait until you read that and discuss for a while and we'll go from there, let me get my head back on the desk to re-red my head, you understand."
thanks
I love thanking people for no reason. When you think about it, who doesn't? Try it the next time your out and see what happens, you will get a smile, a question, or nothing at all - Ideal Case - a thank you right back.
I honestly get so weirded out by people that get really nervous when you say hi to them. Some people almost get scared of people that are friendly. Don't get me wrong, people can get weird friendly, but even a non-chalant hello can really throw some one off and I don't get it. So, what do you do to avoid this annoying rudeness?
If I am at my place of work, I usually ask questions that people aren't expecting to see if they are really listening. Something like, "Are you all set with everything today?"
People usually respond, "no", even though they clearly have not been helped. Maybe I like to mess around with reality, so I ask, "oh, well, what do you need then?"
And they say, "nothing", so I say, well then, it doesn't seem like your all set - so let me help you, silly person.
People just don't get it, until they finally start listening. That's the battle, just listen for a second, just trying to help you here - no biggie at all.
Figure it out people of the world who can't smile at a stranger. Didn't realize people like being smiled at, oh wait, smile leads to laughing, and both these things are happy. People like being happy last time I checked, where the hell am I?
I honestly get so weirded out by people that get really nervous when you say hi to them. Some people almost get scared of people that are friendly. Don't get me wrong, people can get weird friendly, but even a non-chalant hello can really throw some one off and I don't get it. So, what do you do to avoid this annoying rudeness?
If I am at my place of work, I usually ask questions that people aren't expecting to see if they are really listening. Something like, "Are you all set with everything today?"
People usually respond, "no", even though they clearly have not been helped. Maybe I like to mess around with reality, so I ask, "oh, well, what do you need then?"
And they say, "nothing", so I say, well then, it doesn't seem like your all set - so let me help you, silly person.
People just don't get it, until they finally start listening. That's the battle, just listen for a second, just trying to help you here - no biggie at all.
Figure it out people of the world who can't smile at a stranger. Didn't realize people like being smiled at, oh wait, smile leads to laughing, and both these things are happy. People like being happy last time I checked, where the hell am I?
Reheating
Gotta eat. Love to eat. Who doesn't? Some people don't enjoy it, I feel bad.
Do you cook for yourself? You could make every meal for yourself delicious if you really wanted to, but obviously, we sometimes feel pressed for time.
Definitely takes some getting used to, but you can do it. You will thank yourself later instead of the lazy and more expensive alternative. The dreaded take-out.
It happens and we all do it, but just don't make it a repetitive and continuous habit like some people who are bed-ridden.
Touche' to those who actually lose the weight. Especially after teetering like humpty dumpty on a gluttonous brink...more like 'brunk to signify the jump from the junk after their feelings are sunk. However, it is most unfortunate to be left with loose, stretchy skin as a long term side effect.
Which could be pretty cool to some degree.
You would have so much less weight and want to pump your chest so much, but you may or may not be doing it with the back of your arm. So what, you've earned it.
How close is human society to developing the first person to adapt and carryout the behavior of a flying squirrel with excess skin?
Pop songs
First of all, I would like to apologize for my gap in postings, I have been tardy, which may or may have not been caused by being somewhat retardy in the past couple of weeks, but alas...
Pop radio stations are really tough to listen to, right? They literally will have the same 4-5 songs playing at least 10 times a day. Imagine if you have a pop radio station on at work from 9am - 5pm like most Americans who are working. It is enough to make you go insane if you hear Lady Gaga, Sean Kingston, Miley Cyrus, and the Jonas Brothers back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-etc...
Even if you have a song from a solid artist, like Jay-Z or Kings of Leon (whatever your music pref may be), let's get serious for a second here and try to tell me these songs don't make you want to go office space style on your work's radio because you warned everyone and they didn't listen. I'm with you - it's not your fault. And if they try and make you buy a new one, just use me as a reference and they are legally bound to understand why you did that.
But anyways, I was thinking about songs by male and female artists that are sing-a-long songs. What about when the opposite gender is singing these lyrics? It could really catch a 2nd or 3rd party off guard, especially coming from the opposite gender. I.e. Rihanna - Hard.
Just imagine some guy walking down the street or stopped at a red light with his windows down just singing at the top of his lungs, "I'm so Haarrddd. Oh, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I'm so Haaarrrddd." I mean, sorry to be graffic - but c'mon buddy, be a little bit more careful next time you decide to sing. And you - get your mind of the gutter.
Pop radio stations are really tough to listen to, right? They literally will have the same 4-5 songs playing at least 10 times a day. Imagine if you have a pop radio station on at work from 9am - 5pm like most Americans who are working. It is enough to make you go insane if you hear Lady Gaga, Sean Kingston, Miley Cyrus, and the Jonas Brothers back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-etc...
Even if you have a song from a solid artist, like Jay-Z or Kings of Leon (whatever your music pref may be), let's get serious for a second here and try to tell me these songs don't make you want to go office space style on your work's radio because you warned everyone and they didn't listen. I'm with you - it's not your fault. And if they try and make you buy a new one, just use me as a reference and they are legally bound to understand why you did that.
But anyways, I was thinking about songs by male and female artists that are sing-a-long songs. What about when the opposite gender is singing these lyrics? It could really catch a 2nd or 3rd party off guard, especially coming from the opposite gender. I.e. Rihanna - Hard.
Just imagine some guy walking down the street or stopped at a red light with his windows down just singing at the top of his lungs, "I'm so Haarrddd. Oh, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I'm so Haaarrrddd." I mean, sorry to be graffic - but c'mon buddy, be a little bit more careful next time you decide to sing. And you - get your mind of the gutter.
Easter
So turns out, Easter is a pretty solid holiday. Great food, family, and of course Easter baskets.
Jesus died 2010 years and 3 days ago, and he woke up and flew to heaven...pretty legit story to be remembered from that long ago if you ask me.
How easter transpired into eating candy and a giant bunny rabbit is beyond me, but I'm not really complaining about it. There are a lot of little kids that do so for some reason.
Did you know that sixty-seven percent of everyone who eats a chocolate bunny on or around the Easter Holiday start with the ears? (Reading this definitely should make you feel like starting with some other portion of the body)
I feel like they should know the bunny rabbit they visit and cry about the week before Easter is the creature hopping all around the world actually filling their easter baskets with candy. Don't they know this? Get a grip Sebastian, Theodore, Nancy, etc. - who do you think you are?
I would say kids are pretty selfish these days. This is what I was thinking until I went to church this past Easter Sunday and saw one of the creepiest Easter bunny costumes in real life - skinny freaky Donnie Darko style.
It is pretty wild on how such a wide spectrum of human thought can somehow create a link between a pure, righteous, and good figure like Jesus to an imaginary, crazy, and terrifying depiction of a Hollywood motion picture through one common entity.
The bunny rabbit.
Donnie darko trailer
Jesus died 2010 years and 3 days ago, and he woke up and flew to heaven...pretty legit story to be remembered from that long ago if you ask me.
How easter transpired into eating candy and a giant bunny rabbit is beyond me, but I'm not really complaining about it. There are a lot of little kids that do so for some reason.
Did you know that sixty-seven percent of everyone who eats a chocolate bunny on or around the Easter Holiday start with the ears? (Reading this definitely should make you feel like starting with some other portion of the body)
I feel like they should know the bunny rabbit they visit and cry about the week before Easter is the creature hopping all around the world actually filling their easter baskets with candy. Don't they know this? Get a grip Sebastian, Theodore, Nancy, etc. - who do you think you are?
I would say kids are pretty selfish these days. This is what I was thinking until I went to church this past Easter Sunday and saw one of the creepiest Easter bunny costumes in real life - skinny freaky Donnie Darko style.
It is pretty wild on how such a wide spectrum of human thought can somehow create a link between a pure, righteous, and good figure like Jesus to an imaginary, crazy, and terrifying depiction of a Hollywood motion picture through one common entity.
The bunny rabbit.
Donnie darko trailer
Asking Dumb Questions
Asking dumb questions happens to everyone
It definitely happens to more people then others, but some people don't learn from their mistakes and others actually just have trouble hearing what was said before they ask a dumb question - which may have just been answered - I have this problem.
Others are just silly and don't think at all...
I went to a restaurant and it looked like a great place with a lot of different options...this type of place is my nemisis...I'm sorry Im a libra - it's how I was born. Judge me.
I ask the waiter - who was a little foreign - what would you get if you came here to eat for your first time?"
He looked at me and said ... "Well, ah, the place is called, ah, Soup and a Sandwich, so when you come here, you order a soup and a sandwich...
Foreign wise ass...
It definitely happens to more people then others, but some people don't learn from their mistakes and others actually just have trouble hearing what was said before they ask a dumb question - which may have just been answered - I have this problem.
Others are just silly and don't think at all...
I went to a restaurant and it looked like a great place with a lot of different options...this type of place is my nemisis...I'm sorry Im a libra - it's how I was born. Judge me.
I ask the waiter - who was a little foreign - what would you get if you came here to eat for your first time?"
He looked at me and said ... "Well, ah, the place is called, ah, Soup and a Sandwich, so when you come here, you order a soup and a sandwich...
Foreign wise ass...
Guest Amenities
I guess it's pretty common for a lot of people to have certain things in their homes, condos, apartments, etc. in order to accomodate any guests who are coming over for a visit, for dinner, and even spending the night(s). And when you think about that, you could probably say it is most common for people to have decent amenities for these guests to feel at home or even better than what they may be used to.
Obviously, you want to be a good host by offering whatever the person needs...
...but what happens when you have a guest that may be overstaying their visit?
On top of that, what happens when you just flat out don't enjoy their company or even their existence for that matter.
I know, it may be a little harsh, but let's be honest with ourselves here. Most of us are humans, pretty decent ones at that...but for those who aren't good at being humans are the ones will say, "get the eff outta my place, I am sick of your odor and the weird napkins you leave everywhere!"
But most of us aren't like that. And if you're anything like me, you may even try to have a little or a lot of fun with the situation at hand. What could you possibly do to have the person leave?
Maybe fart a lot? Neh, they smell worse than your most silent, deadliest one, so that probably won't work, unless your air shits smell like fresh baby diaper doodoo...than you may be a winner. If this applies to you -try to leave a couple tightie whities with some fat, ripe looking skid marks around the guests' "temporary room".
You don't want to start talking about anything offensive or political because that could open new lanes of conversation you do not want yourself to get into with this person. You should probably stay away from sexual orientation too, that could really backfire on a number of levels you don't want to find out.
So, you might be familiar with retail stores that sell guest beds that are comfortable, affordable, and easy to store away, right? Sure you are. (i.e. Skymall...thank you)
Let's go down a different road and not get out the good guest bed that folds out and feels very comfortable, but rather, you should decide to buy, "The unbelieveably uncomfortable, get-out-of-my-house, guest bed!"
This foldout is very small and terribly uncomfortable - so it is quite easy to store away and should not take up too much room.
Did they stay on your couch for one night?
It's okay, so you say, "We are getting our couches cleaned and now this is your bed - or you can find another place to stay/sleep." :) -smiling during this comment is essential.
They will probably accept the bed because this is my story - so you just play the waiting game (you've been doing it for this long, so have some fun) and see how long the unwanted guest can spend on a metal, noisy, wire grid 6-inches off the ground topped of with a mattress similar to a slice of wonderbread - sheets are definitely optional - depending the severity of unwantedness.
Obviously, you want to be a good host by offering whatever the person needs...
...but what happens when you have a guest that may be overstaying their visit?
On top of that, what happens when you just flat out don't enjoy their company or even their existence for that matter.
I know, it may be a little harsh, but let's be honest with ourselves here. Most of us are humans, pretty decent ones at that...but for those who aren't good at being humans are the ones will say, "get the eff outta my place, I am sick of your odor and the weird napkins you leave everywhere!"
But most of us aren't like that. And if you're anything like me, you may even try to have a little or a lot of fun with the situation at hand. What could you possibly do to have the person leave?
Maybe fart a lot? Neh, they smell worse than your most silent, deadliest one, so that probably won't work, unless your air shits smell like fresh baby diaper doodoo...than you may be a winner. If this applies to you -try to leave a couple tightie whities with some fat, ripe looking skid marks around the guests' "temporary room".
You don't want to start talking about anything offensive or political because that could open new lanes of conversation you do not want yourself to get into with this person. You should probably stay away from sexual orientation too, that could really backfire on a number of levels you don't want to find out.
So, you might be familiar with retail stores that sell guest beds that are comfortable, affordable, and easy to store away, right? Sure you are. (i.e. Skymall...thank you)
Let's go down a different road and not get out the good guest bed that folds out and feels very comfortable, but rather, you should decide to buy, "The unbelieveably uncomfortable, get-out-of-my-house, guest bed!"
This foldout is very small and terribly uncomfortable - so it is quite easy to store away and should not take up too much room.
Did they stay on your couch for one night?
It's okay, so you say, "We are getting our couches cleaned and now this is your bed - or you can find another place to stay/sleep." :) -smiling during this comment is essential.
They will probably accept the bed because this is my story - so you just play the waiting game (you've been doing it for this long, so have some fun) and see how long the unwanted guest can spend on a metal, noisy, wire grid 6-inches off the ground topped of with a mattress similar to a slice of wonderbread - sheets are definitely optional - depending the severity of unwantedness.
Welcome to Spoonytoons
First of all, thank you so much! you're doing a great job over there right now!
If you are anything like me, you might say:
I think of a lot of weird situations.
I get stuck in a lot of weird situations.
Why do I get stuck in so many weird situations?!?!?!
Is it weird to make a practical joke on life when:
You and some people (known or better yet - random) are in a current awkward situation, and they don't know how to get out of it - Just imagine being bound in a gooey mess of awkwardness...
So, what do you do?
Of course, you purposely make the situation more awkward, but the other people don't know you are doing it.
So, what happens?
They start to get really uncomfortable until they __________.(fill in the blank -we've all been there, freak out, and/or walk away without saying a word to anyone - hoping they never see these same people ever again)
I get stuck in a lot of weird situations.
Why do I get stuck in so many weird situations?!?!?!
Is it weird to make a practical joke on life when:
You and some people (known or better yet - random) are in a current awkward situation, and they don't know how to get out of it - Just imagine being bound in a gooey mess of awkwardness...
So, what do you do?
Of course, you purposely make the situation more awkward, but the other people don't know you are doing it.
So, what happens?
They start to get really uncomfortable until they __________.(fill in the blank -we've all been there, freak out, and/or walk away without saying a word to anyone - hoping they never see these same people ever again)
People in all walks of life can be stuck in awkwardness and its funny watching them find a way how to squirm their way out of weird situations.
All sorts of situations for that matter.
New situations test your ability as a human. - Are you a capable or incapable human? (Be honest)
How do you react to a certain situation you have never been in before?
But what makes something weird enough to make some one or something react in a humorous way to a 3rd party (aka = your 'joyful laughing' self)?
...***We will certainly explore this question in more depth***...
...***We will certainly explore this question in more depth***...
And what makes you think about a previous situation where you think you would have done something differently the next time you are in that situation?
Do more people get stuck in more weird situations than others?
Is it their fault?
Is it your fault?
Do you have to ask, "Am I awkward socially?" (Look in the mirror and do this if you have any doubt)
Is it possible to make situations more Weird, Awkward, Surprising, Unexpected, Inappropriate,and even Gross? Just because you feel like it and the other people do not know you did so on purpose?
Is it their fault?
Is it your fault?
Do you have to ask, "Am I awkward socially?" (Look in the mirror and do this if you have any doubt)
Is it possible to make situations more Weird, Awkward, Surprising, Unexpected, Inappropriate,and even Gross? Just because you feel like it and the other people do not know you did so on purpose?
These things can happen to you or some one else in any situation that could be relevant or not at all.
Relevant to what? I don’t know, It’s your life,
I am still trying to figure out my own…
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